Category: Funny

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Everything’s a Revolution!

Gonna set myself on fire.
Sparks flyin’, people cryin’, soul takin’ flight.
All’s for the best though. Just doin’ what I believe.
No one’ll see it comin, no precedent for this.
Gonna make a mark in history.
Talk forever ’bout me, the bravery, the soul on fire.
It’s gonna happen. Today, tomorrow, whenever.
Gonna set myself on fire.
Just haven’t found a cause yet.

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Yelling Unheard

Illustration by Sam Beck

Dear Ghost:

Your aged-old tactics don’t scare me. Stop jumping from corners. Stop opening your mouth to yell. I can not hear a word. Your weak attempts to get me to leave are silly. If you want my attention, you might try being nice. Greet me with a hug rather than bulging eyes and decaying claws. Try to smile. And… Happy Halloween.

~Frustrated Tenant

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molted-cat-coats 0

Molted Cat Coats

Illustration by Sam Beck

We have two cats

and they molt their fur

wherever they walk.

If we gathered it all

we could stitch a cat coat.

Molted Cat Coats

These coats

might become all the rage

named after the breed:

The Tabby

The Siamese

Or maybe after the cat:

The Isabelle

The Chester

To get the business started

what we really need

is a reclusive cat hoarder.

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2

Moving Together

Illustration by Anon D’mowlse

Sweat dripping, their bodies move together in unison. They breathe in quick gasps, occasionally slowing to moans.

Biting her lip in anticipation, she cries out: “Nearly… there!”

With an inarticulate grunt he gives a final thrust of his huge organ and then they collapse in a flail of tangled limbs and self-congratulation.

“Next time… you want to move this… damn piano… ask… someone else!”

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